The Dream of a Long, Long Drive

“Just take off and go for a long, long drive,”
He mutters to himself alone one night.
Just pack all you will need and leave the rest–
Leave the no’s you’ve been collecting
Like butterflies perserved in glass.
Leave the doubts and the regrets
And just get in the car and go.
And go… and go… and go….
And maybe one day come back.
Or maybe not.
Maybe find somewhere new
And collect new no’s and doubts and regrets
And when those get too heavy,
Drive away again.
Just drive.
Just leave.
Again.

“Just take off and go for a long, long drive,”
He repeats, almost rising from the bed–
Just start a life of leaving piles of the past
Dotted here and there along the highway,
In different small towns or crowded city corners,
Like a bee leaving pollen, from one plant to the next.

“Just take off and go for a long, long drive,”
He whispers one last time
Before closing his eyes and trying to sleep,
Staying.
Because of course he’s staying.
But he can dream of a life
Where no’s, and doubts, and regrets
Really do stay behind,
Rather than worming their way inside of you,
Burrowing into your heart.
Stuck.
No matter where you go. Or how far you drive.

“A long, long drive…” he mutters one last time
Before finally falling asleep.

Copyright Sarah Davidson 2021

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